Jirones en el tintero

"No hay que escribir si no en el momento en que cada vez que mojas la pluma en la tinta, un jirón de tu carne queda en el tintero" (TOLSTOI)

Ir a La Hipocondria

Jirones 17 de abril de 2018
Tiempo de lectura:7 min., 39 seg.

Imagen: The refugee (Anthony Barrow)

Algunos soldados saludan cuando pasan por delante de la casa, corriendo en silencio. Saya y yo jugamos solas. No hay muchos niños alrededor ahora. Tampoco recuerdo que haya habido muchos desde que estoy aquí.

Papá está en casa. De vez en cuando lo veo asomarse por la ventana. No hay mucho ruido esta tarde, salvo disparos y alguna que otra explosión dos o tres manzanas más abajo, en la calle ancha. No solemos ir por allí.

Con el calor se levanta mucho polvo desde el suelo. Si miro los dedos de mis pies, están blancos, pero no me importa. Si están así es porque he podido salir a la calle. Ya no quedan árboles, ni lugares para jugar, por eso Saya y yo nos divertimos aquí, delante de la ventana de casa, donde vemos a papá y él nos mira, atento.

Ahora solo estamos los tres. Mamá y mis dos hermanos fueron un día a pasear por la ciudad; el primer día que oí las sirenas. Nunca volvieron, así que papá, Saya y yo estamos aquí, solos, en lo que queda de nuestra casa. Apenas tenemos muebles: dos camas, una nevera, una cocina que funciona muy mal… Papá dice que cuando todo acabe  compraremos muebles bonitos y reconstruiremos la casa tal y como estaba cuando estábamos todos.

Han dejado de pasar soldados y hay silencio ahora. Dejo a Saya sentada en una piedra cerca de la puerta de casa y me acerco un poco al trozo de muro que queda de nuestro patio. No hay nadie.

Entonces empiezan a sonar las sirenas. Miro a casa y veo a papá salir corriendo por la puerta y venir hacia mí.

– ¡Vamos, cariño, tenemos que entrar! – me dice intentando parecer tranquilo. Creo que está asustado. – ¿Dónde está tu muñeca? – me pregunta.

Le señalo a Saya, sobre la piedra. Me coge en brazos y va hacia ella para cogerla también.

Detrás de casa hay un sótano, hondo, oscuro, húmedo. Es muy grande. Entramos y papá enciende una lámpara que da poca luz. Al cabo de algunos minutos empiezan a entrar algunos vecinos.

Todos nos encontramos aquí cuando suenan las sirenas, pero cada vez somos menos.

Saya está asustada. Se asusta siempre. Yo le digo que no tiene que tener miedo, que aquí abajo no nos pasará nada, pero la abrazo fuerte para que no oiga las explosiones.

Hoy solo hay tres niños más. Estamos todos en silencio, oyendo lo que pasa fuera. Sabemos que, en cuanto ya no se oiga nada, podremos salir de nuevo.

A veces me pregunto por qué no fui aquel día con mi madre y mis hermanos. No me gusta estar sola y seguro que en el cielo, ellos, se estarán divirtiendo mucho. Luego pienso que papá se quedaría muy triste, sin nadie, aunque podría dejarle a Saya para que le hiciera compañía. Seguro que en el cielo podría comprar otra muñeca.

Los mayores tienen todos cara de cansados. Nos miran a los niños e intentan sonreír, pero creo que se les ha olvidado cómo se hace.

Dentro de tres días será mi cumpleaños. Ocho. Pero no sé si podremos celebrarlo. Saya fue mi último regalo, hace dos. Papá fue a comprarla al centro de la ciudad, a una tienda grande que aún no había sido bombardeada. Ahora ya no está…, y tampoco el centro. Casi no hay nada.

Me gustaría que volviesen todos mis amigos para poder celebrar mi cumpleaños con ellos. He visto en fotos otros lugares donde los niños lo celebran con muchos regalos, con dulces, con juegos… No sé por qué esos niños pueden y yo no.

Quiero irme de aquí. A lo mejor se lo pido a papá por mi cumpleaños. Tiene que haber algún sitio donde no haya bombas y se pueda jugar en la calle todo el día.

Fuera ya no se oye nada. Los mayores se ponen en pie y mueven las manos para que no hagamos ruido. Nadie se mueve. Escuchan en el silencio, como queriendo atravesar los metros de tierra que hay sobre nosotros.

De repente se oye un golpe muy fuerte justo encima. Como si hubiesen dejado caer un camión desde muy alto. Luego, otra vez, silencio.

Después de unos minutos, uno de los adultos susurra algo y se va despacio, sin hacer ruido, hasta la puerta. La abre  y sube lentamente por las escaleras. Nosotros esperamos, tratando de oír sus pasos.

He empezado a escuchar, a lo lejos, allí arriba, una especie de pitido. No sé si los demás lo oyen. Sentimos que alguien baja las escaleras corriendo. Los mayores dan unos pasos hacia atrás y alguien apaga la luz. Cuando los pasos llegan al sótano, gritan:

– ¡¡Gas. Corred!!

Noto cómo papá me coge en brazos de nuevo y corre escaleras arriba, tapándome la boca y la nariz con su mano. Casi pierdo a Saya con el tirón. La llevo cogida de su mano, colgando, mientras papá corre.

Cuando salimos del sótano veo una especie de bombona de butano muy grande allí en medio, en el suelo, justo encima de nuestro refugio. Alrededor hay mayores tumbados, algunos tosiendo, otros vomitando. Veo a varios que pierden el equilibrio, se caen y no se vuelven a levantar. No sé por qué se quedan allí.

Papá tose. Tose mucho. Le oigo respirar muy fuerte, pero sigue corriendo conmigo en brazos, alejándose de la bombona.

Me pica la boca. Mucho. Toso. Siento como si algo me quemara la garganta por dentro. Intento toser más fuerte para echar lo que sea fuera, pero me cuesta respirar. Lo intento, pero no me sale. Como si el aire no quisiera entrar por mi nariz. Me entra sueño. Creo que he soltado la mano de Saya pero no puedo abrir los ojos para mirar si está ahí. No la noto.

– ¡¡Cariño, aguanta!!

Tengo mucho sueño. Quiero decirle a papá que estoy aguantando y que pare de correr porque Saya se ha perdido, pero creo que voy a dormir. Estoy muy cansada y ya no oigo nada…

Cuando abro los ojos hay mucha luz. Me molesta. No conozco este sitio. Es blanco. Veo a algunas personas alrededor, pero ninguna es papá. Tampoco veo a ninguno de mis vecinos. Estoy en una cama blanda, cómoda, con tubos que salen de mi brazo y máquinas alrededor con luces que emiten pitidos.

Giro la cabeza y allí está Saya, sobre la almohada, a mi lado. Está muy sucia y su pelo de lana roja muy enredado, pero entera. Ya no me quema la garganta y puedo respirar bien.

Ahora no escucho explosiones ni disparos. Se me hace raro el oír tantas voces alrededor. Me abrazo a Saya y trato de dormir de nuevo. Espero poder ver a papá en mi sueño y decirle que le quiero y que le dé un beso a mamá y a mis hermanos de mi parte.

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