Jirones en el tintero

"No hay que escribir si no en el momento en que cada vez que mojas la pluma en la tinta, un jirón de tu carne queda en el tintero" (TOLSTOI)

Ir a La Hipocondria

Jirones 7 de junio de 2021
Tiempo de lectura:3 min., 54 seg.

Vértigo. Lo padecía desde pequeño. Jamás había podido superarlo. Era tener que subirse a un escalón para alcanzar algo de un estante más alto, y empezar a sudar por todos y cada uno de los poros de su cuerpo.

Siempre le habían dicho que tenía que luchar contra sus miedos, plantarles cara, no dejarles que le dominasen… y lo intentaba. Lo intentaba siempre, con todas sus fuerzas, pero casi nunca lo conseguía. La mayoría de las veces era capaz de superarlo cerrando los ojos, no mirando lo que hacía. Por supuesto, eso acarreaba algún peligro, tanto para él como para las personas que tuviera alrededor.

Y quería dejar aquello; quería dejarlo cada día que le obligaba a enfrentarse con su vértigo, pero no podía. Sin saber cómo, había conseguido un relativo éxito en su trabajo a pesar de su miedo; a pesar de ese miedo. Siempre tenía alrededor gente aplaudiéndole por su lucha, por su esfuerzo; pero pocos sabían de su batalla interior.

Y se preparaba, y cerraba los ojos, y cogía impulso, y se obligaba a superarse, a superarlo. Y le sudaban las manos.

Solía llevar en los bolsillos un poquito de magnesio, como los gimnastas, para disimularlo. Nadie debía percibir que aquello le horrorizaba. Que lo hacía simplemente por necesidad. Porque, por un accidente del destino, un mal día, aquello se cruzó con él y nunca supo decir que no. Y porque había conseguido ganarse la vida con ello.

Así que allí estaba de nuevo, solo, con sus ojos cerrados, tratando de olvidarse del mundo, oyendo aplausos en su interior, contando los pasos mentalmente, animándose…

Podía sentir un leve peso sobre su hombro derecho, pero lo reconocía. Sabía que eso era lo que le marcaba el inicio del proceso…, y el final. Con los dedos, abrió una pequeña cremallera en el bolsillo de su pantalón, asió un poco de aquel polvo blanco, cerró de nuevo la cremallera y extendió el magnesio en sus manos dando palmadas.

Oía que los aplausos en su interior se acrecentaban paulatinamente. Estaba listo. Apretó sus ojos y echó a correr hacia adelante, contando los pasos, concentrado. Sentía el viento apartándose a su paso, abriéndole camino. Notaba su corazón acelerándose, saltándole en el pecho. Oía sus propias palpitaciones y su respiración agitada.

En un momento su carrera se detuvo en seco, notó una fuerza contraria a su avance en los hombros, que ahora tenía rígidos junto a sus brazos. Y sus pies abandonaron el suelo. Se sintió ligero de repente, flotando. Mantenía los ojos cerrados; obligó a su cuerpo a hacer un escorzo y entonces comenzó a notar que caía al vacío. El corazón quería salírsele por la boca. Apretó los dientes.

Al cabo de unos segundos de contener la respiración se notó caer de espaldas contra una superficie rígida pero blanda. Expulsó todo el aire de sus pulmones y abrió los ojos. Allí arriba, el cielo era azul, claro, límpido. Un pájaro pasó volando por delante de su campo visual, ingrávido, flotando en la nada. Y justo enfrente de sus ojos, seis metros más arriba, un listón se cimbreaba levemente, sujeto por sus extremos, pero sin caer.

Oyó aplausos, esta vez a su alrededor.

El saltador de altura había conseguido superar, con la ayuda de su pértiga, de nuevo, los seis metros y doce centímetros. Cuatro centímetros más y podría retirarse. Cuatro centímetros más y podría entrar en el olimpo de los campeones. Cuatro centímetros más y dejaría, definitivamente, que su vértigo ganase la batalla, para siempre.

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