Jirones en el tintero

"No hay que escribir si no en el momento en que cada vez que mojas la pluma en la tinta, un jirón de tu carne queda en el tintero" (TOLSTOI)

Ir a La Hipocondria

Jirones 22 de octubre de 2011
Tiempo de lectura:5 min., 14 seg.

Imagen: Texas Panhandle Hwy 66 (Thomas Hart Benton)

Tenía que parar. No podía más. Llevaba cinco horas seguidas conduciendo y sentía la vejiga como una bota de vino: tensa y llena a reventar.
Buscó con la mirada una gasolinera a lo largo de la carretera, y a lo lejos pudo ver el cartel de una que parecía estar en su camino.
Aceleró un poco más. Sabía que estaba infringiendo los límites de velocidad, pero aquello era una urgencia. Podía parar en el arcén unos instantes, pero nunca le había gustado mear en público: nunca.
Fueron los cuatro minutos más largos de su vida. No recordaba haberlo pasado tan mal por una necesidad tan cotidiana en todos los días de su vida; aunque tampoco era capaz de tratar de recordar, concentrado como estaba en tratar de retener su vejiga.
Cuando llegó a la gasolinera, empapado en sudores fríos, con los ojos nublados y sin apenas poder contenerse, comenzó a correr hacia la parte trasera, donde estaban los servicios. Durante el corto trayecto desde su coche hasta allí, rezó para que estuviesen abiertos.
Al llegar a la puerta y poner la mano en el picaporte le recorrió la espalda un escalofrío, como una descarga eléctrica, y notó que se le erizaban los vellos de los brazos. Estaban abiertos.
Conforme se acercaba al urinario notaba que todo comenzaba a fluir lentamente…, pero llegó a tiempo, antes de que todo escapase a su control irremediablemente.
Sintió dos nuevos escalofríos, pero esta vez de alivio, subiéndole desde la cintura hacia el cuello. Nunca se había alegrado tanto de estar en un servicio público.
Al acabar se dirigió al lavabo, totalmente relajado, como si hubiese estado durmiendo dos días seguidos. Abrió el grifo y empezó a lavarse las manos. Era algo que, como hombre, nunca solía hacer, a menos que alguien estuviese haciéndolo cuando él se iba del servicio, o que fuera acompañado de alguna mujer que le esperase fuera. Pero esta vez lo hizo.
Oyó entonces una cisterna que sonaba tras una de las puertas que estaban cerradas y que él no había visto al entrar porque iba a lo que iba. No le dio importancia. Quien salió del servicio, al verlo allí, lavándose las manos, hizo lo mismo. Abrió el grifo del lavabo contiguo al suyo y puso sus manos bajo el agua.
Cuando él hubo acabado, se secó las manos y se dirigió a la puerta, no sin antes dirigir una mirada al desconocido a través del espejo y dejar escapar un “¡hasta luego!” de cortesía. El desconocido respondió con la misma frase.
Al salir del servicio se dio cuenta de que algo no cuadraba en todo aquello. Había visto algo raro, pero no sabía qué exactamente. Se sintió tentado de volver a entrar para aclarar sus dudas, pero decidió esperar a que saliera el desconocido. Sacó un cigarrillo y empezó a fumárselo en la puerta del servicio, apoyado contra la pared. Y se abrió la puerta.
El desconocido salió y se le quedó mirando. “¡Hasta luego!” le dijo, y él respondió. Y se percató de qué era lo que no cuadraba. El desconocido iba vestido de forma normal: vaqueros, camisa de cuadros, zapatos deportivos…; la ropa de alguien que está haciendo un largo viaje y quiere ir lo más cómodo posible. El problema estaba en que su piel era verde, sus ojos extremadamente grandes, con forma de almendra y negros, su nariz eran sólo dos huecos en lo que parecía su rostro, y su boca no parecía más que una raja horizontal debajo de la nariz.
Le miró las manos. Eran más o menos normales, salvo ese color verde y los dedos más largos de lo normal.
Estaba claro: era un disfraz. No podía ser otra cosa. Siguió al desconocido con la mirada hasta que lo perdió tras la esquina de la gasolinera. Entonces decidió volver a su coche. Oyó algo parecido al cierre suave de una puerta y un motor como de moto de gran cilindrada arrancando…
Dio la vuelta a la esquina. Allí estaba su coche y, al lado, algo como un cacahuete inmenso, brillante y totalmente liso, como cerrado al vacío. Estaba flotando en el aire. Entonces vio cómo se abría un hueco en la superficie del cacahuete metálico, aparecía la cabeza del desconocido verde, volvía a decirle “¡hasta luego!” agitando una de sus manos, e inmediatamente, el extraño vehículo salía de la gasolinera y se elevaba rápidamente hacia el cielo. Lo siguió hasta perderlo de vista, y volvió a su coche.
“Debe haberlo pasado mucho peor que yo para encontrar un servicio en mitad del espacio. No sé si yo habría sido capaz de aguantar tanto tiempo”, pensó. Arrancó y siguió su viaje.

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